To my child’s teacher

to my child's teacher

To you, my child’s teacher, to whom I entrusted my little one a little too early for my taste. You, who every morning when I arrive at the school, have a smile on your face. You confirm to me that I made the right choice. That even though my mother’s heart is heavy to carry when I walk through the door, the most precious thing in my eyes is in good hands.

To you, my child’s teacher, who marks every birthday with sensitivity and celebrates every celebration to the delight of the little ones. Who even goes so far as to push our participation in order to make each experience unforgettable for our babies.

To you, my child’s teacher who simply takes the time. The time to listen to him and me, to prepare with attention the activities of the next day in order to amaze the children, to cook recipes with love and by knowing the preferences of each one. To take the time to comfort one while you must also entertain the other. Taking the time to go outside to play, even if it means dressing them layer after layer or creaming them every ten minutes. At pick-up, take the time to tell each parent about the day in a hurry.

To my child’s teacher, to the one who raises my son, who binds up his scratches when he hurts himself on the playground. I am grateful for all your small attentions and for all your work. To the one who treats my son as if he were her own; thank you for everything.

You are in a profession that demands the best of yourself in order to pass it on to others. A profession that, unfortunately does not get the credit that it deserves. I have spent many hours in your classroom and just keep on being amazed by your abilities and calmness.

And to you, my child’s teacher, my son finds himself in you. I trust your passion, your interest, your skills and your love; thank you for everything.

Life by Mim
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Dear (ex) family

Picture of ex-family

Dear (ex) Family

First of all my apologies for writing and posting this letter on my blog even though I doubt that you will even read it. I see some of you weekly/daily but none of you speak to me besides my brother-in-law who spoke to me once since. So because there has been almost no dialogue between us since my husband has confessed, I decided that I needed to write this down, so that I can hopefully let go. I think that this letter may also be a guiding light to others who are walking the same path as I am.

As an adoptee, I have always suffered from a feeling of abandonment and rejection. When we came into each other’s lives, I did not know my birth parents yet and I had been all alone with my two children here in Belgium for many years. When I met my husband, I met you all and I had hoped that I would finally feel like I belonged to a family.

My husband had not been very positive about some of you, he felt hurt by things past. But because I had no family, I knew how precious it was and so I encouraged him to renew the bonds. On Saturdays I would propose to visit his parents, I tried to let him see another side of his sister whom he had grown to not like and we would have weekly family dinners together. But somehow, I felt like I never was fully accepted.

I am not going to jolt down all the reasons for why I felt like this, it’s not my purpose to play the blame game. I just what state how I felt all these years. I felt, inferior. I felt out of place. I certainly did not feel loved.

I have laughed with you, I have cried with you. We were all very involved in each other’s lives. 

But now, you act as if I do not exist. 

The reaction that I would have preferred (but not expected) was at least that you would be as disgusted and as shocked at his behaviour and not question me as to why he did these things. Because there is NOTHING that can excuse what he has done.

And you then claim to love my son, your nephew, yet you treat his mother, the victim, with disdain. That is not loving. That is heinous.

Maybe you were disgusted and shocked, but I don’t know this because none of you have let me know. None of you have checked in on me, or on my children. And my messages are left unanswered. If I ask something I only get an answer through someone else or I am cc’d in an email. Do I have to hear from third parties that you are mad at me?

There will be no acceptable reason for me as to why you choose to ignore me. None. The least you could have done is sent me a text asking if we were ok. If your nephew was ok. I was not expecting people to choose sides, but I have had more support and help from friends and strangers than from my own (husbands) family.

Just hoping that your children will never have to experience the pain that I have been through and be blamed for a crime that was done to them.

And in case you are wondering, we are doing well despite the situation and this only due to the grace of God. We are well surrounded by friends who now are the ones who now laugh and cry with us. Because believe me, even when you see me smile, I am just wanting to cry.

I miss my nieces and nephew and love them very much. I still love my husband and have forgiven him but cannot be around him right now. I do not know what the future will bring, but I am trusting in the Lord to guide me and that all good things happen in God’s good timing.

I do want to thank you for never letting my children feel left out on birthdays and holidays even though they were not of your blood. Thank you for the good food and funny table talks and finally, thank you for helping my husband through this terrible season and I forgive you all for the pain you have caused me.

I was very hurt and bitter by you shutting me out of your lives but when I finish this letter to you, I’m letting go of that pain, anger, bitterness, and resentment. Because that is what this letter is all about.

Shalom.