Here, I began to find answers, and it is these answers that will lead me to deepen my relationship with God, to grow, and to heal. God wants you to heal and to grow, too. Don’t be afraid to ask Him “how?” instead of “why?
I’m now on the way to healing. I hope that you are too.
After recently finding out about things that I was afraid of. Things that have happened in the past but have now been revealed to me, worse than I had ever imagined…I ended up going through a very rough patch again. I was just starting to recover from the first big blow a few months ago. My heart was broken, it was hurting, I could not stop the tears from rolling down my eyes, seeing images of things that had happened to us unknowingly. How could this all happen? Why was I chosen to carry so many burdens during my life? How could there ever be a way out of this despicable situation? I can’t see it; I am barely keeping my head above the water.
But yesterday, my dear friend came to pay a visit. She lives far away in Romania and she comes over to Belgium often to visit her grandmother who lives here, and now she is here for me, because I needed her. She is a Christian friend; I don’t have many of those here in Belgium. I have Christian people in my life who care and who I see regularly, but for me a friend is someone who that wherever they are, is it another town, another state another country, it will always feel like they are nearby. This friend prays for and with me, she gives me godly counsel and she encourages me. She helps me remember that God has everything under control and that it WILL be okay, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. She is full of encouraging thoughts, she genuinely cares, and she a has wealth of scripture knowledge that somehow really do make me feel better. Sometimes she will do this in person, sometimes by text, but she never fails to be that trusted friend.
A few days before she arrived, I was listening to my Spotify on my way to church last Sunday. You know that list on Spotify that compiles songs based and what you have listened to in the past? Well, there was this song that was really speaking to me, even though I could not really make out the words. I marked it, added it to my favorites and listened to it a frequently in the following days.
So, when my friend left, I needed to bike somewhere, I plugged in my earphones and looked for that song straight away. It’s called “Maker” by Woodland worships. I started to really listen to the lyrics this time and it the refrain was speaking out to me so clearly “You will make away…you are the maker of my heart and you will make a way…when I can’t see a way out, you will make a way”
“Oh Lord, please do that for me, because right now, I cannot see a way out” …my heart cried out to God.
I want to be more like David who too called out to the Lord when he was in desperate state. He prayed, “Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice!”(Ps. 27:7). Then David testified expectantly, “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart” (v.14). He knew that God would make a way.
I’m finding it hard to do so, but I am so willing for I know that our God is a strong, loving God and so in the evenings I am in an intercessory state of prayer, with this song on the background, moving my heart.