We love glorifying pain, trauma, and abuse as God’s will. We love making God a violent, manipulative man just so we can make sense of the hurt in our lives. But…
That isn’t God.
That’s the effects of trauma and pain working against us in favor of itself and the ones who harmed us.
Want to heal?
To be clear: to heal, you must be ready/willing to accept that the pain is not the sum total of who you are, who you can become holds the greatest possibilities for your future and that you are not alone as you make the journey to wholeness.
I was not chosen/called/favored to be raped. I didn’t need to accept that to heal from it. Do you see how dumb that sounds? It’s nonsensical and antithetical to God’s heart to suggest that these experiences were sent as positives.
There are entirely too many sisters (and brothers) whose lives have been transformed by all the pain and trauma they’ve endured. They deserve a freeing, liberating word that is rooted in their humanity and the truth that God loves them and would never cause them harm.
We live in a world where evil is present. For reasons beyond our control, people lean into that evil and cause harm of various magnitudes. It is unconscionable and it is not right. And it is not God’s doing. God is just as upset and heartbroken over what I endured as I am.
Where is God in all of this?
In the darkest moments of our lives, God sits with us and journeys with us through them. God holds our hand as we cry, cuss, question, and scream. And God pushes through with us as we fight for our wholeness and healing.
God is not sending pain in our lives to produce something glorious. We’ve not been “called” to pain and trauma.
God calls us to community, to hope and to healing.
God reminds us that God’s intention was always for us to flourish and be well.
Healing brings us back to that.
The “Why?” question is real.
- If God is God, then why did these things happen?
- Why didn’t God stop them?
These are valid questions and those who ask them of God are right to do so. The danger is when folks try to answer for God.
You can ask why all day, but can I be honest with you? No answer will ever be sufficient.
There’s nothing that will justify the presence of pain + trauma in our lives.
Think about what you’ve gone through. What can you hear that’ll make you say “Okay. I get it now”?
I used to ask why.
Sometimes, when I get mad at my current conditions, I still ask why.
That’s a real place. But “why did this happen to me” is not my posture. “What do I need in order to heal and move on” is where I land these days. Because that empowers and shifts the focus.
Healing is a beautifully messy journey towards the people we are meant to be. We are called to be healed, whole and well. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and you don’t have to accept anything other than that truth to be free.
My deepest prayer for all of us is that we truly come to know God’s heart for us. It is big, wide, deep and filled with a love that is beyond our comprehension. We need that love to heal and free us. We need that love to truly live.