I could not build my son a cardboard house

I had been feeling pretty proud of myself this week. I had been doing chores that I usually left for my husband, like tidying the garage, sorting out the recycling and getting it ready for the NEXT day! Wow. Usually I would look out of my window in the morning and see the garbage truck coming up and so I would dash downstairs to get everything out to the curb (leaving a trail of trash and debris behind me). Then yesterday my toaster blew a fuse and the whole house was in the dark, so my (adultish) daughter and myself were standing in the dark hallway, using her phone as a flashlight, looking for the switch to get all the electricity back on. We both felt pretty smug at that moment. “Huh, look at us, we don’t need men”.

But today, I had a(nother) “I wish that my husband was here moment”.  My nearly five year old had been begging me to make him a house with some cardboard boxes we had in the garage. I had been trying to put it off, not because I don’t like making stuff. I’m the crafting queen, I love to make pretty, delicate things, sometimes messy. But building a house out of cardboard, no. That was far beyond my capabilities. But I did promise and so I started to try and make something out of it. At first it would not stand up right (‘use tape mama, papa always uses tape’)…looking for tape. Ok , using tape, how do I keep it together while taping? on no…tape is getting tangled, where are the scissors? Why are the scissors not cutting the tape?…Oh no…house is collapsing again, the roof…the roof. Aaaargh.

Tears.

Frustration.

Sadness.

Determination.

After a quick prayer, I was able to collect myself and started again. This thing did not need an award, it just needed to be something with a door and a window so my son could climb in and out. And that’s what I made. I put tape all around it so it would stand, I made a window/door, hung some Christmas lights and a comfy blanket in it and he is happy. I’m just not sure how long it will keep on standing. But at least I kept my promise. How will I ever be enough for my son? I still have a lot to learn.

I could not build my son a cardboard house

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