My adoptive mother passed away last January. She was not a good mother to me and I left home at the age of 16 with my babygirl as my adoptive mother was a drunk abusive alcoholic and the environment was no longer safe for my infant.
That has been 25 years ago and I have seen her maybe about 5 times since. So I can firmly say that we were not close.
That’s why I decided not to accept her inheritance and neither did my children. So yesterday we finalized the paper work and the notary. But how to explain inheritance to a 5-year-old?
My youngest son always needs a detailed explanation about what we are doing and where we are going. A counselor once told me that it is best to be honest and tell the truth to our children, however old they are (keep in mind that it is age appropriate). Like this we can have relationship built on trust. So, I have been trying to do this, but I am often challenged.
‘Those people are screaming because they are drunk. They have ingested too much alcohol and when you do this you become stupidly drunk and don’t use your best words.”
“We are not rich no; we can buy things but not everything”
“I don’t know why frogs don’t eat cheese; I think that they prefer flies”
“Well, do you think Santa exists?” (he still says yes, and he does not ask me back if Ithink that Santa exists, so I’m safe for now)
“yes, having a baby hurts, imagine having to poop out a melon”
“Uuuuh, the problem with the world is people?”
“Farts smell because we swallow air, and that air mixes with the food we swallow, and gases and somehow that makes farts stinky? I think…”
“We have two eyes to see one thing because God made us that way “(was my answer after having googling the question, this seemed the easiest answer for now) 😀
And then the answer (and discussion) to the question leading to this post that is not as funny as most questions my son asks:
“Inheritance is the stuff you get from someone after they die”
I also had to explain to him that I did not want any stuff, but that he could just not understand, he kept on whispering(loudly) in my ear while the Notary was reading the document out loud and my two other adult children were giggling;
“When are we getting the stuff mommy?”
“We don’t want the stuff honey”
“Why mommy, why?”
“Because why mommy?”
“Because mommy does not want the stuff, because this lady did not feel like a mommy to me and I do not want her stuff”
End of questions…
Being truthful is hard, sometimes you want to lie, because the truth hurts, but I felt peaceful about it afterwards. I don’t want to hide my feelings and real-life situations, I rather live like I have nothing to hide and hopefully my son will learn from it too.
Honesty is the best policy.