Adoption: when birthdays don’t (always)feel like celebrations

Adoption: when birthdays don't feel like celebrations

I’m one of the lucky adoptees who have been reunited and loved by their biological family.

I do not feel any resentment about the adoption. But I did feel sadness.

For me being adopted reminded me, with each birthday, of what that meant.

I guess it was only a small shadow of sadness growing up as a child. I accepted then that it would always be there. I resolved the ‘missing piece’ feelings by taking a few private moments to wish a “happy birthday” up to the sky to my birth mom every year. I figured that it was her day too.

When I was found many years ago, the pain of my birthday went to the background, because I was so happy to have been found. My family welcomed me and my children into their lives.

I found out that my mother’s birthday is the day before mine. I felt incredible sadness for her, as her birthday must have been tough for her as well of those years.

But since then, I was lucky to celebrate my birthday with my mom and family a few times over the years.

But damn covid and the restrictions have given me reason to have a pity birthday party again this past week.

I’m not proud of it. I have so many things to be grateful for.

But as my therapist says, sometimes I need to care for and comfort the little child that is still in me and that still feels sad and lonely most times.

And that’s just what I did this birthday.

I’m pretty sure that my mom still deals with this sadness too. I just wish that we were not separated by the Covid or by the Antlantic ocean.

*The birthday pity party” ends here.

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